“Potluck Pet Peeve” [Advice]

by robinhardwick

Original post: http://pouringlemonjuiceonapapercut.tumblr.com/post/50972604760/potluck-pet-peeve

“Potluck Pet Peeve”

Good friends of mine love to have potluck food parties. I always feel inadequate because I can’t cook, and I never know what to bring. I usually offer to bring wine or something to drink, but I always feel like that is minimal effort compared to others. Do you have any suggestions of something simple I can prepare to bring so I feel like I have contributed?

Well, you have some options here. Number one, refuse to go. There, problem solved. In the off-chance that you still want the social benefits of the party, I guess you have no choice but to pull something out of your ass to bring. Not literally. I’m not an animal.

When someone has a party with the words “potluck style!” it pretty much means “I want to throw a party but don’t want to do any of the work involved.” If you are throwing a party, I feel like you also have the obligation of providing SOMETHING to guests, especially if you’ve made an invite o Facebook event. That is a social contract saying, “hey, I’m not gonna provide a five course meal, but In pledge to have the basic accouterments or drinks available.” If it is an impromptu few friends coming over to hang around, then fine, someone bring a bag a Cheetos and call it a day.

Also, potlucks are fucking ridiculous, especially if it’s not organized well- you have eighteen main dishes of varying qualities. On my plate I could have chicken curry, a mini-turkey club, baked ziti, and then two kinds of frittata, one shitty and one good. Oh, plus some over-drenched salad and some sort of runny lentil thing that soaks everything on the plate. What sort of fucking meal is that?

So, my point is: I don’t know. Learn how to cook and do what I do: go to the food bar Whole Foods, fill a box with a tasty side dish, and then take out a mortgage to pay for it.

*Note: if you are in my book group and reading this, everything I said above is not true, I LOVE having potluck at our meetings, please don’t kick me out of the group.