Rejected Writing: What Your Favorite Childhood Game Says About You

by robinhardwick


Mall Madness: You wear sweatpants with “saucy” written on the ass despite being 43. Sometimes you go to your local Bed Bath and Beyond and steal some shower loofahs just to feel alive.

Hungy Hungy Hippo: You will, without question, buy any product that Apple releases on the first day.

Risk: Your little idea turned into a startup worth a billion-dollars. Also, if you are a white man, you only date Asian women.

Simon: You have Asperger’s.

Monopoly: You are an anarcho-capitalist. You have a penchant for Great Gatsby cosplay. You are a successful business developer but if someone asked you what you do, you can’t explain it. You only like the inside of Oreo cookies.

Mousetrap: You are a roadie for Seether’s world tour.

Girl Talk: You take strip-dancing aerobics classes at the local Gold’s gym. You insist on telling everyone that you are more like a big sister to your daughter than a mother. You own three pieces from the Rachel Zoe fake fur collection.

Girl Talk Dateline: You are a single mother of seven.

Shoots and Ladders: You founded an organization that sends clothes to poor orphans in Africa. However, you are about to lose it all because of your crystal meth habit.

Checkers: You like sex in the missionary position. You tuck your shirt into your underwear.