Will you join my cover band?

by robinhardwick

For those of you that don’t remember, I was in a band briefly in the early turn of the twentieth century. It was a blast. We practiced once a week in Adams Morgan, drank cheap wine, fought, and all the other band stuff that bands do. It wasn’t my creation; Erin already had the band, and she brought me into the fold. Also, I had an electric bass. We had a few gigs (all in Erin’s living room) but holy fuck even playing for our friends in her apartment was such a rush. I now know why people want to fuck people in bands- in those moments, I’d fuck myself. Also because I seem to recall wearing a gold lame camisole, brooches,  and glitter Urban Decay eye shadow.  GUYS IT WAS 2001 DON’T JUDGE.

Then life got in the way, like attending grad school and 9-5 day jobs and bands were only for people who professionally were unemployed and guys who worked at Guitar Center. I haven’t picked up my bass in years, in fact I don;t even know where it went after I moved to California (it may be in my brother’s basement?)  I’ve always had pipe dreams about joining a band again, but it’s a lot of work and a lot of damn schlepping. Equipment is heavy and tedious. And here’s the other thing: I don’t want it to be hard work. I don’t want to “make it”. I want to goof around and play occasional gigs. Therefore, I don’t even want to be in a band that writes original songs. I want to be in a cover band that plays songs that are familiar people and makes them happy. Something where they already know the words and sing along and fills them with nostalgia. They will love the band because of their association with the song.

I’ve actually given this more thought than you’d think. I have some concepts in mind. There’s the cover band that just plays songs they like, which is fine, but casting that wide net won’t please everyone, resulting in mediocrity. No. I want some sort of concept that defines the band. Sure, it won’t appeal to a lot of people, but those who get it will GET IT.  I should also mention that I am always partial to a female vocalist. Sure, because of feminism, blah blah,  but ultimately, I just like the sound better.  And of course a keyboard player. (Key-tar only in situations that call for it.) I will play the bass in all of these because, of course.

Concept #1: 90s Alternative Cover band. What a time! It provides the perfect amount of nostalgia for my generation, but it also has some great songs that can still rock a crowd. Also opportunities to dress in grunge, which looks insanely comfortable.


“Epic”, Faith No More
“Fade Into You”, Mazzy Star (I’ll need a tambourinist)
“Violet”, Hole
“Negative Creep”, Nirvana
“In The Meantime”, by Spacehog

Concept #2: Josie and The Pussycats Cover Band Only a few of you know the brilliance of the criminally underrated 2001 film, and its amazing soundtrack. Sure, there are only about six originals on the soundtrack, but maybe we can just play them all twice for a full set. No pussycat ears or tails required.

Concept #3 Glam rock/hair metal Cover Band– too obvious? Or maybe this is just a ploy to dress like Nikki Sixx.


Obvious choices would be to play “Unskinny Bop” and “Dr. Feelgood” and some other overdone anthems. I’d do some deep cuts into the genre, such as:

Trixter, “Give It To Me Good”
Cinderella, “The Last Mile”
Tesla, “Love Song”
Winger, “Miles Away”
Extreme, “Pornagraffiti”

Concept #4, a Wham! Cover Band. No explanation needed.


Concept #5  Misfits Cover band. This one I have given a LOT of thought to. For the other concepts, I don’t see any of the members specifically covering the band’s persona and their songs, but this one is essential. Each of the band will take on their respective counterparts, transferring it to a female persona. The singer will be Glenda Danzig, and I will transform myself into Jeraldine Only, as a tribute to bassist Jerry Only. You know who he is. He’s the one with this hair.


We’ll include all the horror and skeleton imagery, and not be at all snobbish about what is considered classic Misfits and not true to the Misfits canon (Jerry later reformed the band with all new members, but who is to say it’s not still the Misfits?)


Some Kinda Hate
Last Caress
Don’t Open Til Doomsday (always the closer)
Where Angels Dare (always as an encore)

When I think of actually doing any of these,  the “jesus woman, you are thirty-five years old” voice comes into my head/ But whose to say I can’t still do this when I am in my forties/ I just hope I don’t come off like the mom band that Mavis Gary scoffs at in Young Adult.