I Am Your Anti-Hero.

by robinhardwick

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I am you anti-hero. I am here to be irresistibly charismatic. The morality of the real world don’t affect me. I work by the set of my own rules, given to me arbitrarily. My childhood made me who I am. I have a tragic moment that made me this way, so it seems justified to the impressionable viewer. I have cancer. I was fired. I’m fed up with the status quo. I am from a broken family. My family was murdered. My family was murdered in front of me. I murdered my family.

I operate alone until I find someone who appears to be my match. I open myself to them only to find that they will betray me, just as I have betrayed others. I must rid the world of my equal in self-preservation. You still are rooting for me to triumph rather than be discovered. If you heard about me in the local news, you’d cry for justice. You see me on a scripted cable show cable and identify with me.

I find love. I learn to love. I learn to be a parent. I learn to be a husband. I gain a lesson while others lose their jobs, dignity or lives. I am the protagonist so my life always matters over others. I am a white man so my life always matters over others. I am sometimes funny and biting so my life always matters over others. I know the plight of the white man. I am the avatar for the men who feel they aren’t the men they think they want to be.

I am your anti-hero.I have become what you cannot be. I am the stand-in for you when you want to tell off your boss to go to hell. When you want to face your bullies. When you want to seduce your crush. When you want to crush your competition. I am great with small talk and compliments. I am exceptional at human interactions except for really loving them. If people don’t love me, they fear me. I am the danger. I am the dark avenger. I am the bull in congress. I am a true detective. I am what you never can be.

I am skilled at seduction. I can find my target and say the right things for them to want me. I am excellent at sex, because I have no inhibitions. I give no promise of attachment or commitment, yet my sexual prowess forces you to fall in love with me. I break their hearts but they still come back. They are intoxicated with me, with what they can’t have.

I am your anti-hero. I engage in one quirky hobby or unique talent that gives me a brief, fleeting sense of humanity. I am insanely good at origami, chess, chemistry or have a collection of rare letter openers. I collect stamps, chemical flasks, comic books. This makes me seem like I am human, and provides an opportunity to laugh at the irony of my hobby to detract from the people I’ve hurt.

I am the creation of a writer who is frustrated, who is an artist because he gets to create a world where their rules don’t apply, where they can project their unaccepted wants and needs onto a living. breathing human. I am able to say the funny things, the profound things you never could. I speak the Truth. The Truth that is quotes and dissected by message boards, fan sites, critics, coworkers.

I am your anti-hero. By the time I’ve killed someone, I’ve caught you in a Stockholm bingewatch of episodes. You’ve connected with me too much so your reaction to me as a murderer is blurred, you agree that it was something I had to do. If I was caught for murder, there would be no more shows, no more seasons, no more time spent with me as a character. You justify my actions for me. I did it for survival, I did it for the greater good, I did it because the person was evil anyway. I did it because I can.

I am your anti-hero. I will win an Emmy, A Golden Globe, an Oscar. I win your respect.

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