If you write about these things, you are not funny.

by robinhardwick

As I am working on new sketches, I am thinking about things that I hate hearing about in sketches. You may hate hearing the things I’m writing about, but get your own fucking blog and make your own fucking list.

Hipsters- aren’t they snobby! They only like things others don’t! They have fashion they like to wear!

Farting- I’m not against the act, I just don’t see the humor.

Isn’t it crazy how guys are like this and women are like this? Except they are not.

Being drunk or high. And that being the whole basis of the comedy.

(Not all) sex. Let’s face it, sex is pretty hysterical, but not when it’s about small dicks, disgust at realizing your sex partner is unattractive in the morning, clingy women, and dubious consent.

Acting gay for comedy. You know, lisp, limp wrist, loving window treatments…as the whole joke. Yes, people are gay. That itself is not funny.

White people trying to rap.

Men wearing women’s clothes because…oh my god, so grosssss!!!! Not like real people get murdered over wearing clothes not assigned to their gender.

A sub category of the above is men playing women in which they twirl their hair and act really dumb and have high-pitched voices.

Anything about someone wanting things “organic” and “artisinal.” It’s been done. See: hipsters.

Game of Thrones parodies. We get it. There are a lot of characters who do bad things and do each other.

Sketches about sketch comedy. How far is your nose up your own ass?

Speaking of: poop, pee. Unless you are writing comedy for pre-schoolers. In fact, all body fluids, as if the mere presence of them is the joke.

(Intentional and unintentional) offensive accents.

Fat people who can’t stop shoving food in their mouths.

Gynecologist offices.

Birth scenes where the pregnant women screams and moans constantly and is suddenly mean to her partner and demands everything but them becomes docile only after the birth.

Nudity with no context.