The Worst Things On the Internet- The Debut

by robinhardwick

Some people would call hate-reading a waste of time. “Why spend all that time being negative?” they say. Well, for one, cynicism is the key to world domination. Also, there is some real crappy writing/media out there, and reading it makes me a better writer. These are the things I saw this week that made me shake my fists at the heavens.

The Holderness family, a very “wholesome” family, makes funny viral videos. That should be a warning right there, that intentionally making viral videos is the work of the devil. I believe this is the same family that made the “Christmas Jammies” video, a parody of Will Smith’s “Miami” which I won’t link because I can’t stomach it. This time, they are back with a back-to-school jam called “Baby Got Class,” a parody of “Baby Got Back. And it has four million fucking views. That is paying their mortgage. 

Say, what’s wrong with a family having a little wholesome fun? I’ll tell you. Exploiting your children, for one. They may look like they are having fun, but they can’t possibly emotionally consent to this. Also, the wink, wink of using a song that is dirty for a song about their kids is just hacky and not enough to sustain the joke. Also? The “white people rapping badly” joke is infuriating.

Over at xoJane, an editor was upset about the death of journalist James Foley, so she called an old journalism professor at an ungodly hour to ponder her own existence. Okay, fine, but as a journalist, shouldn’t she know not to publish it as a story? As expected, people called her out on her unecessary navel-gazing, and what does any good journalist do? Go on a comment-deleting and user-banning spree. If that weren’t bad enough, she proceeds to write rambling responses to commenters talking about college awards she won for journalism. 

Finally, I’ve seen this article as an ad below many sites I read:  “Child Actors That Turned Ugly“. Okay, fuck you, it’s bad enough that we objectify people all the time but this is riduculous. Guess what, people grow up and look different. It’s bad enough some of these people, who didnt’ really choose the limelight are still brought into it.