I struggle with my own deficiencies every day. I’m afraid to refer to myself as a feminist when I’m hanging out with my friends and former fraternity brothers out of the fear that somehow my outspokenness makes me less of a “man” in the eyes of my brothers and society at large. I feel courageous enough to express my feelings in my writing, but it’s everyday moments among friends that silence me. And I’m frustrated that my courage disappears when I’m with the guys. Because nobody wants to hang out with the preacher. They want to drink beer and let loose and be themselves without worrying about attracting the ire of someone they once thought of as a friend. “Did you see her? In the tight jeans. What I would do if …”
College does not produce a sense of adulthood, but a stunted purgatory between childhood and semi-adults. One thing to fix this is to cut ties with single-sex Greek organizations. I am shocked that we haven’t already.